Does running stress you out?
As I was out on my run yesterday morning, having to fit it before my MSc course (20 years after completing my post-grad studies I decided to embark on some more), I realized that not only I wasn’t achieving the much sought-after ‘flow’ but I remained very much stressed the WHOLE time I was running. This rarely happens. VERY rarely. This is why I enjoy running: it usually enables me to relax and forget about any worries I may have at that time. To find focus time. To look after both my body and soul for these 30min, hour or however long I go running. But yesterday, nothing. I couldn’t shift the stress. And that reminded me of a very good podcast I listened to recently, which was on the Runner’s World UK Podcast series. The guest was sport psychologist Dr Josie Perry, who I happened to meet in person as the start of a race in Wimbledon Common a few years ago. Little did I know who she was at the time as I chatted to her as a fellow runner at the start line, but she has since become my sport psychology reference. The podcast title was ‘Running and stress’ and delved into the apparently paradoxical fact that running can become a stressor. I strongly encourage you to give it a listen. Have you ever felt stressed before or during a run, like I was yesterday morning?
Of course, you may expect that elite athletes experience running as a stressor due to pressures they are under to perform. What can be little/medium stressors for amateur runners like me - for example, the risk of injury - take a different meaning when you are at the elite level and earning a living from your races. Yet, every runner can experience stress from running at some point. It takes me back a few years ago, when I was preparing for a 100k race whilst working 3 days a week and studying for a pretty full-on data science specialization in my spare time. I remember one day bursting into tears in front of my husband, and saying ‘I won’t be able to do it all, there just aren’t enough hours in the day!’. My dad had passed away the previous year, and at this point my children were still 3 and 6 so my head and hands were pretty much full. So I was very much at breaking point, even though I didn’t fully realize it at the time. I still had my running coach (who had helped me run a pretty decent first ultra-marathon the year before) and a very structured 5-day a week training plan. Given that my data science specialization was occupying a lot of my spare time including most evenings and weekends, that left very little time to ultra-marathon training. The longer training sessions became a chore, and there was little left of my love of running at that point. I pushed on, did everything I could but I was stressed most of the time. Looking back, I should have dropped one of my plates, but at the time, I thought that would be showing defeat and I didn’t want to be weak. So I just pushed through.
I ran another ultra-marathon earlier this year, but I wanted to run a smaller race in October, which was due to be a 25k with about 1100m ascent. Then a friend of mine who was running the longer race in the series, encouraged me to upgrade. I wasn’t sure at first, but the route looked so scenic that I thought at the time that might be fun. But between signing up for the race and the actual race day, I had moved country with my family, and started my MSc, which happens to be just as demanding as a full-time job with the added pressure of regular exams. So when my October ultra-marathon race was eventually cancelled due to COVID, I was relieved! At that point, I recognized that I couldn’t do it all and decided to scale back my running. I said goodbye to my coach (that was a hard decision, as I had come to see him as my ‘running dad’), and decided to not book any big race before mid-year next year. After that point my stress levels should, I hope, gone back to a sensible level (I hope), which would be much more conducive to an intensive training schedule. However, I still had in the back of my mind that if I wanted to run the Boston marathon, next year was the last chance I had to apply with my 2019 New York marathon qualifying time. My first thought was to just enter and defer if I got in. But unfortunately one of the rules of Boston is that you can’t defer. So what to do? I still applied and I honestly don’t know whether I will be running it if I get in. Boston is a dream of mine, as you will know if you have read my previous posts. But will it be all too much to train for it alongside my MSc? It’s too early to tell. And it’s even too early to think about it as I am not even in yet. For all I know, there may be too many runners faster than me so I won’t make the cut. But if I don’t get in, at least I will be able to find a silver lining: I won’t have to worry about fitting in all in an already busy life.
So what’s my point? That if you run for mindfulness, ‘me time’, relaxing, that’s exactly how running should feel for you. The day you don’t get this stress relief, but instead feel stressed at the idea of going for a run, you need to re-evaluate. Are you taking on too much? Can you drop something that is NOT running, to make more space for it - this would be the ideal scenario, as exercise remains a good way in general to tackle the stresses of life. If not, it may be necessary to scale back your running so you can come back stronger. And if you’re worried about the years passing and losing your speed, take comfort in reading about Mariko Yugeta who ran a 2:52 marathon at the tender age of 62. So taking it easier right now doesn’t mean you should forget your running dreams.
Happy running!